5 THINGS YOUR AGENCY DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

think piece

5 THINGS YOUR AGENCY DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

1. THE PEOPLE YOU MEET ARE NOT THE PEOPLE THAT WORK FOR YOU

You just bond so well. They so get you. All these charming agency people that laugh at your jokes. Newsflash: after you’re gone, the people you met will dump a brief to the people who are actually working on your account. You might think otherwise, but you, as a client, have not chosen the people who are doing the actual work for you and you will most likely never meet them. Likewise, they have not a slightest idea of you apart from being an abstract client in the shape of yet another brief on their desk that will keep them late at work.

2. THERE ARE LESS PEOPLE WORKING ON YOUR ACCOUNT THEN YOU THINK

The more the management succeeds to reduce the actual (overworked) team without you noticing, the more successful in their network’s eyes they are. This is the way for agencies to make more profits, daaah. Most of the people presented to you as members of “your team” have just slightly touched your account. And yes, some of them are just plane “extras”.

3. CREATIVE WORK IS UNDERCHARGED, BUT YOU ARE OVERPAYING

A good idea is priceless. Yet, the creative team that actually makes things for you earns their salaries from a fraction of what you are paying. What you are paying for is that fancy office. Also, for the artisan espresso you so enjoyed last time you visited. You paid for the posh agency cocktail that gave you hangover last month. That art piece in MD’s office? Yes, for that one too. And, I am afraid, the tropical winter holiday of the managing partner, that one is on you, as well.

4.“PROACTIVITY” IS A PROFIT EXTRACTION TOOL

The agency is actively working on finding new ways to sell you something. Sometimes, your business will benefit from it, sometimes it will not, but one thing is certain: proactivity is the result of the account team doing their job in trying to reach the targets forced upon them by top management, not the tender care for your business’s best interests.

5. THEY ARE FAKING IT

Do you really think your agency’s team are enthusiastic to work on yet another campaign for a banking loan? You will never know what they really say and think about you, your business and your haircut, and frankly, you are better off. Just don’t buy the friendly shit for anything more that it is: professional shit. They are overworked and considering starting an organic farm somewhere far from the presentation room. All that faking will give the agency management ulcers anyway, so there you have it, justice served.